Diablo Cody To Haters: “Leave Me The F*ck Alone!”

Someone (possibly named “Film_Fan78″) pissed off Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody something fierce lately. Seemingly apropos of nothing, Cody is throwing a fit about haters on her MySpace blog. Here are some of the many highlights.

• “I am not Charlie Kaufman or Sofia Coppola (much as I supplicate at their Cannes-weary feet.) I’m not Paul Thomas Anderson. I’m not even Paul W.S. Anderson….I am ‘Diablo Cody’ and if you’re not a fan, go rent Prospero’s Books again and leave me the f*ck alone.”
• “I may have won 19 awards that you don’t feel I earned, but it’s neither original nor relevant to slag on Juno. Really. And you’re not some bold, singular voice of dissent, You are exactly like everyone else in your zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod.”
• “I’m sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money.”

• “Five million 12-year-olds think I’m Buck Henry. Accept it.”
• “Incidentally, if you were me for one day you’d crumble like fucking Stilton. I am better at this than you. You’re not strong enough, Film_Fan78. Trust me.”
• “I’m sorry to all those violent, semi-literate fanboys who hate me for befriending their heroes. I can’t help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me. Maybe you would too, if we actually met. “
• “I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you’re spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I’m sorry if you think I’m like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby cunt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It’s engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn’t.”
• “I’ve been telling stories my whole life. Even when I was a phone sex operator, I was the Mark Twain of extemporaneous jerk-off fiction. I took every perspiring creep on a fucking journey. I don’t know how to do anything else.”
• “I’ve spent the last few years hustling like Iceberg Slim out here to prove myself professionally. The people I currently work for, and with, are more than pleased with my post-Juno output. My pilot was so good (thanks, Toni Colette!) that it got picked up for series. That is rare, children. That is blue-rare.”
• “In summation: you try it.”

Your move, Film_Fan78!