Michael Jackson May Be Writing His Memoirs

The Chicago Sun-Times reports that Michael Jackson has “put out feelers” (ew) to see just how much money he could get for his memoirs. Answer? A whole f*cking lot. “Despite all that’s known about Michael, he still is one of our more intriguing celebrities,” said an industry insider. “If he’s truly candid and reveals some good secrets, his memoirs could easily be a huge best seller.”

While there’s no doubt Michael could use the money, one doesn’t have to be a sheik to know that Jackson doesn’t always see things through. Publishing companies are doing bad enough—they don’t need Jacko saying he thought that seven figure advance was a “gift.” Says that expert, “he’s going to have to provide a fairly explicit outline of his memoirs before a major publisher is going to shell out a significant advance.” Accent on the word explicit.