University May Keep Its Interns Away From David Letterman

Quinnipiac University is putting the “loco” in in loco parentis. Following news of David Letterman’s affairs with Late Show staffmembers, the school has announced they are reconsidering letting their nubile young students anywhere near the talk show host. “Due to recent circumstances we will have a discussion with those in charge of placing our interns at the David Letterman show in the future. We will diligently oversee this internship program to ensure that our interns are out of harm’s way.”

Wait a second…”out of harm’s way?” Is he putting drugs in his desk mints now? Letterman’s actions were undeniably skeevy in that Mad Men boss-employee way, but—to the best of our knowledge—he didn’t break Megan’s Law. Is this a nutty coda to the late night drama or a sign of craziness to come? Between blackmailer Robert J. Haldeman still professing his innocence and rumors of Letterman taking assistant/lover Stephanie Birkitt on family vacations, it’s starting to sound like the latter.

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