The couple that takes drugs, self-destructs, cheats and then divorces, stays together! Isn’t that how the saying goes? Because none of that has dissuaded junkie lovers Amy Winehouse and Blake Incarcerated from getting back together, according to the News of the World.

Amy (or that Absolute Idiot, as she should now be referred to) hooked up with Blake on a date last Friday and then snuck him into her house the next day, through a back window to deter her security guards. “Blake spent part of the night in the house, we think in Amy’s bedroom. She’s being very secretive about it but we know he was there,” reports the paper.

Great. More tattoos, Camden lost weekends and bloodied ballet pumps are on the horizon, it seems. Poor old Daddy Mitch. [Photo: AFP]

Just imagine the awkward silences round the family table at Christmas. Amy Winehouse - despite apparently still wanting her ex-husband back - is suing Blake Incarcerated’s mom. Yes, the mother-in-law relationship is often a strained one and no more so when there’s an $80k lawsuit filed against her. To be fair to Amy, Georgette Fielder-Civil did sell one of her private love notes to her son to a tabloid newspaper, so we’re already aware there’s no love lost between them.

She’s now filed suit for copyright infringement, and a source says: “Amy was furious the private letter was used to make money.” Never mind Amy, hopefully the breakup and trauma will help you write some decent songs for the new album - and maybe there’ll be one in there just for Georgette? [Photo: WENN]

No one wearing a sweater like that could be on drugs! Amy Winehouse stepped out today to get some food, do some shopping, and check in with the police. If not the picture of health, she certainly looks better than she did wandering around town four months ago. Keep it up, Amy!

Meanwhile, estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil is rumored to be seeing a new girl—and we mean girl. His rumored flame is 16-year-old student Francesa Morralee. “Fran thinks it’s glamorous to be seeing Amy’s man but she’s only 16.” a source told The Mirror. “She likes to have a good time but certainly doesn’t do drugs. With Blake’s reputation he is not the best role model.” Maybe, but we’re sure he wouldn’t treat Miss Morralee immorally. After all, Amy is his one true love and he wants to win her back, right? Right?

[Photo: Splash News Online]

A week after those topless pics, Amy Winehouse is still relaxing surfside in St. Lucia. She was even filmed exercising on a trapeze yesterday, possibly in an effort to keep limber as she prepares for further sexploits now that actor Josh Bowman has left her side. Here’s what The Sun says she’s telling folks at the hotel.

Josh has gone home. He was lovely. But it was a holiday thing. I still love my Blake. While he’s locked away, I’m still gonna have a good time. He can’t do anything about it.

Well, he can file for divorce. That’s something.

In a weekend that’s seen all the great celebrity life moments occur (a birth, a marriage, and a tear-filled award acceptance speech), it looks like we’ve got the full set. Yes, a divorce! Totally unsurprisingly, it seems drugs love’s young dream Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are headed for the divorce courts. According to the Mail Online, Blake has instructed lawyers to begin divorce proceedings after seeing Amy shacked up with pretty posh boy Josh Bowman in St Lucia.

Huh. We’re no fans of Blake ourselves, but Amy really put the nail in the coffin of their relationship this weekend with a startlingly frank interview with the News of the World, where she branded hubby “rubbish in bed” and how she felt “dead” every time she slept with him.

“I love it here and have never felt so happy. In fact I don’t think I’m ever going home. I was supposed to go last week but I thought f*** that, I’m staying! Especially as I met Josh here. He couldn’t be more different from my husband, which is not a bad thing,” she said.

Well, now it seems Josh has flown back to the UK, so we’ll see what happens there. We’d advise you to find the closest hills, Josh, and run for them. [Photo: Splash News Online]

There were four men who let it all hang out in 2008 — but only one could be crowned as the Best Wang. David Beckham, congrats. The competition didn’t even come close …

Scandalist mobile winner: David Beckham.

Gossip fiends! No longer put up with celebrity snobs accusing your obsession of being low-rent and shallow. Instead wave this in their face (not literally, you may smack someone with your laptop/Blackberry) as proof that celeb culture is as culturally sound as the highest of literature — Amy Winehouse’s life is to be studied as part of a university degree. The University of the West of Scotland will study the wrecky star as part of their music course - with information provided by her record company, Island.

“Amy Winehouse is a great example of the potential pitfalls in the music industry. She is recognized as a multi-award-winning great artist. But the by-product of that lifestyle can be stress and illness. We would look at how the industry is often not a supporter of longevity,” Allan Dumbreck, music course leader told a newspaper.

Bravo, students. Now perhaps you can work out a way of fixing the royal messes that are Amy and Blake Incarcerated after writing a 10,000 word dissertation? Thanks. [Photo: Splash News Online]

Oh for God’s sake. We get a little bit of good news about either Amy Winehouse or Blake Incarcerated, get a bit overexcited that a happy drug-free ending may be in sight, then BAM! Almost instantly, they f*ck up again. And that’s just what’s happened with Blake. After giving a heartfelt interview over the weekend where he blamed himself for Amy’s cracked-out state, he also claimed he was clean again. Nuh-uh. He’s back in the slammer once more after failing a drug test, then running off to Amy’s bedside in the hospital (sigh).

“Blake did a runner. He turned up in hospital and hell broke loose — everyone was totally shocked. He was asking Amy to forgive him. As he was going back inside anyway he felt he didn’t have much to lose,” said a source.

Yep, that’ll be about right. And we’re going to make a New Year’s Resolution for 2009 and not expect any good news from the pair to last longer than around four minutes. [Source: The Sun, Photo: Splash News Online]

In the least surprising news since hearing Madge and Guy were splitting up, Amy Winehouse’s erstwhile husband Blake Incarcerated has revealed that he was the one that dragged her down into junkie-dom. In an incredibly candid “mea culpa” interview with the News of the World, Blake goes further than any past newspaper report, painting himself as totally guilty — “the man who caused it all” — turning Amy into the drug-addled wreck she is today.

“I dragged Amy into it and without me there is no doubt that she would never have gone down that road. I ruined something beautiful. Now I have to let her go to save her life. I am not abandoning her. I am doing this out of love,” he told the paper.

Gruesome, grotty details abound in the confessional, from Amy’s first seizure, to her self-harming and fling with manager’s assistant Alex Haines. It makes for uncomfortable reading — especially when BI sobs, “I’m distraught and can’t stop crying. I can’t believe that because of drugs I’m going to lose my soulmate … I know drug dealers are still supplying her. It’s just amazing that the police haven’t stopped them. But how can a criminal comment on the Old f***ing Bill. I just wish someone would do something.” The whole thing is really sad — and maybe (as we’ve said a million times before) this will actually make Amy get some help finally? [Photos: Getty Images Entertainment]

Sigh. We are really now starting to think that Amy Winehouse is reading our blog and starting to act out accordingly. After we accused her of staying in and watching the X-Factor, she went out on the lash the next night. And now after we dared to hope that it was all over with Blake Incarcerated and she might be able to put her life back together, she only goes and binges on drink and drugs, ending up in the hospital (again). The Sun reports that Amy suffered a seizure after overdoing it somewhat on a “cocktail” of pharmaceuticals following a phone row with estranged husband Blake.

“They had a screaming row. She was beside herself after the call — and she just totally lost it,” a source claims.

Reassuringly, Amy’s spokespeople claim it was a “bad reaction” to prescribed medication. Uh huh. It would be funny if this whole sorry saga wasn’t like a bad case of déjà vu over and over again. [Source: The Sun, Photo: FilmMagic]

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