Levi Johnston isn’t the only teen parent who wants a piece of the celebrity action. Bristol Palin will be making her television debut soon on an upcoming episode of ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager. (So much for Sarah Palin’s complaint that the media focuses too much on her kids - this time the Palins are bringing it on themselves.)

On  the show, Bristol will play herself, or at least a fictional version of herself who is friends with the show’s protagonist, a girl who is also a teen mother. She said in a statement “I am thrilled to be on this show and to be part of a program that educates teens and young adults about the consequences of teen pregnancy.” We’re hoping Bristol gets a longer story arc where she can cover issues like how to handle the father of your child after he’s gone rogue and compulsively wants to show off his fine physique to a nation of curious onlookers.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Earlier this week, Heroes hottie Hayden Panettiere hit up The Candie’s Foundation Town Hall Meeting on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, cozying up with abstinence advocate and teen mom Bristol Palin. At the event, Hayden avoided telling teens not to have sex, but did have this to say:

“There’s a lot of different viewpoints on sex, and I’m not someone who will ever boo-hoo anything or say, ‘This is not right,’ or, ‘This is wrong.’ You’re going to do what you’re going to do, but at the end of the day, it’s okay as long as you educate yourself, as long as you’re safe, as long as you’re smart. This is just a human thing. It’s natural, it’s what everyone does…”

Everyone - including Hayden? The actress was reportedly overheard chatting with a pal about David Duchovny’s sex addiction, and declared, “Well, if I had to be addicted to something, it would be sex!”

Amen sister! Hayden may only be 19 but clearly she’s got her priorities straight.  [Photo: WireImage]

Sarah Palin so doesn’t need this crap. There she is, trying to juggle her job as governor, a young baby, her daughter’s baby and plans for a potential 2012 presidential campaign…all from Alaska. She so doesn’t need Levi Johnston, the estranged babydaddy of grandson Tripp, going on The Tyra Banks show with his distraught family. It’s hard to sell yourself as a caring, good ol’ gal when the other grandma—up on drug charges—is bawling about her heartbreak on TV (she can’t even get photos of the baby! Aww!).

Between that and Levi suggesting Sarah knew he was giving daughter Bristol his pistol (”moms are very smart”), it’s no wonder the governor’s statement on the matter is harsh:

We’re disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship. Bristol’s focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence. It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child.

Translation:  Sarah Palin so doesn’t need this crap…and it’s not going to stop anytime soon.

“It was mutual,” comedian Bill Hicks once said about a break-up. “She said ‘we’re breaking up’ and I said ‘…ok.’” We couldn’t help but think of that joke as Levi Johnston mumbled to Good Morning America from inside his pick-up about his split with fiance/babymama/Republican National Convention date Bristol Palin. “[The decision to break up was made by] both of us. Something about me not being mature enough…and having a kid…think it’d be better for us to separate for a while.” You mutually decided you weren’t mature enough? Rrrright.

While Johnston denied the claims that he’s being kept from seeing infant Tripp (he says Star’s “she thinks we’re white trash” quotes from his sister were misheard on an airplane), the GMA reporter noted that the only photos of Tripp in the pick-up were of the ultrasound. If Levi is spending quality time with the baby, he should probably get that kid to a Wal-Mart photo shop already.

Keeping up the “my dumping was mutual” cliche, Johnston still hopes to marry Bristol once he’s gained that adult wisdom she apparently now craves. “We’ll see what happens. I mean—I’d like to get back together with her. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but one day—whatever happens happens.” Just don’t show up drunk at the governor’s mansion screaming her name, bro. You know her parents are armed.

Scandal update from Wasilla, Alaska! Apparently Governor Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol has dumped her baby daddy Levi Johnston for being beneath her and the Palin clan, and is refusing to let him near their newborn son Tripp.

Levi’s sister Mercede is capitalizing on the situation (smart girl!) and spilled all to Star magazine. “Levi tries to visit Tripp every single day, but Bristol makes it nearly impossible. She tells him he can’t take the baby to our house because she doesn’t want him around ‘white trash!’” Bristol won’t even allow him to watch the baby for a few hours — unless he’s babysitting.”

Mercede goes on to say that the Governer has gotten in on the act, and that she’s “lost lots of respect for her.” As she should! We thought the Palins whole deal was that they embraced their trashiness - huntin’ wolves, mutterin’ “aw shucks” and “gosh darn” and shoppin’ at Wal-Mart. It sounds like Bristol might be sipping lattes and chomping on arugula as she nurses her baby. What would Joe the Plumber think?!  [Photo: GettyImages]

We thought we’d be able to write something sassy about this clip of Bristol Palin talking to Fox News about teen motherhood, but then we watched it and were touched by her candor and awkward maturity. Bristol still seems shocked that her mom, Sarah Palin, was even nominated for Vice President, and her eyes widen when she discusses becoming a mom at such a young age. Perhaps she’s still processing the past year?

While her mom struck us as an “aw shucks”-muttering nitwit, Bristol seems oddly astute and wise. Apparently not everything is genetic! The 18-year-old describes her mom’s insistence on teen abstinence as “not realistic at all” (right on, sister!) and offers some advice for other teens: “I hope people learn from my story … It’s so much easier if you’re married, have a house and career. It’s not a situation you want to strive for.”

Clip above.

Bristol Palin followed in her mother’s shoes this weekend, when she gave birth to a 7 lb., 7 oz., baby boy and bestowed upon him a strange (yet oddly adorable) monniker: Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. The teen popped out her firstborn on Saturday at around 5:30 AM in the morning, and her great-aunt told People that “The baby is fine and Bristol is doing well. Everyone is excited.”

No one more so than Bristol, we imagine, as she’s rumored to be raking in some serious cash for the exclusive first pics of her tot. Bidding for the photos reportedly started around $100,000, and People finally landed the deal at a price around $300,000. Not bad for an 18-year-old who has yet to graduate college. We’re sure her fame-hungry mama is proud, dontcha think?  [Photo: GettyImages]

Apparently Sarah Palin’s dad is a big blabbermouth, as he revealed to some site called Grandparents.com that his granddaughter, Bristol, is having a baby boy. Cuteness! We kinda miss the Palins for all their family drama - we hope the Governor threw some baby clothes for her grandson into that pile of crap she bought for thousands at Saks this summer!

Bristol is due on December 20th, which is just two days away! We can’t wait for the Alaska’s Baby of the Year to be born. Will Bristol follow in her parents’ footsteps and name it something weird, or will she define herself as a more traditional Palin? We’d guess her tot’s name will put Bronx Mowgli Wentz to shame. Fingers crossed, of course.  [NYP. Getty Images]

Lynn Spears is all pissed off that everyone hated on her daughter Jamie-Lynn Spears when she knocked up at 16, and then turned around and heralded Bristol Palin (daughter of Alaskan gov and VP candidate Sarah Palin) for doing the same thing. Mama told Newsweek:

“It’s a totally different reaction. It’s as if [Sarah Palin] became celebrated. I mean, the mother, Palin, was celebrated for this. Every woman in the world has applauded her strength and her convictions and poor little old Jamie Lynn–you saw how she was crucified. Everybody did, firsthand … I just feel like it’s been a very hypocritical situation.”

Well for once, Lynn makes a good point. Both girls were unwed teens, both girls are engaged to their baby daddies. So what’s the difference? One word: BRITNEY. You have that albatross attached to your decent family name, and girl, you are f*cked. If Bristol Palin had some crazy ol’ sister with a buzzcut and breakdown addiction, she’d be bashed too. Just repeat this mantra, Blame Britney, and everything will be just fine!

Sad because you couldn’t dig up those Jamie-Lynn Spears breastfeeding pics on the web? We’ve got fifteen adorable shots of the underage star that are totally legal to look at for all you pervs out there. [Photo: FilmMagic]