Sarah Palin so doesn’t need this crap. There she is, trying to juggle her job as governor, a young baby, her daughter’s baby and plans for a potential 2012 presidential campaign…all from Alaska. She so doesn’t need Levi Johnston, the estranged babydaddy of grandson Tripp, going on The Tyra Banks show with his distraught family. It’s hard to sell yourself as a caring, good ol’ gal when the other grandma—up on drug charges—is bawling about her heartbreak on TV (she can’t even get photos of the baby! Aww!).
Between that and Levi suggesting Sarah knew he was giving daughter Bristol his pistol (”moms are very smart”), it’s no wonder the governor’s statement on the matter is harsh:
We’re disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship. Bristol’s focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence. It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child.
Translation: Sarah Palin so doesn’t need this crap…and it’s not going to stop anytime soon.
“It was mutual,” comedian Bill Hicks once said about a break-up. “She said ‘we’re breaking up’ and I said ‘…ok.’” We couldn’t help but think of that joke as Levi Johnstonmumbled to Good Morning America from inside his pick-up about his split with fiance/babymama/Republican National Convention date Bristol Palin. “[The decision to break up was made by] both of us. Something about me not being mature enough…and having a kid…think it’d be better for us to separate for a while.” You mutually decided you weren’t mature enough? Rrrright.
While Johnston denied the claims that he’s being kept from seeing infant Tripp (he says Star’s “she thinks we’re white trash” quotes from his sister were misheard on an airplane), the GMA reporter noted that the only photos of Tripp in the pick-up were of the ultrasound. If Levi is spending quality time with the baby, he should probably get that kid to a Wal-Mart photo shop already.
Keeping up the “my dumping was mutual” cliche, Johnston still hopes to marry Bristol once he’s gained that adult wisdom she apparently now craves. “We’ll see what happens. I mean—I’d like to get back together with her. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but one day—whatever happens happens.” Just don’t show up drunk at the governor’s mansion screaming her name, bro. You know her parents are armed.
Attorney Robert Barnett, who has brokered book deals for everyone from President Barack Obama to former President Bill Clinton, is allegedly seeking an $11 million advance for Sarah Palin’s memoirs. Hillary Clinton got $8 million for 2003’s Living History, but if Palin’s willing to say what she really thought of John McCain, it might be worth another three.
Once a publisher does drive a truck full of money to Wasilla, maybe she can do the RNC a solid and buy back all the clothes they gave her. Turns out her expensive campaign wardrobe, which the party promised to return or donate to charity, is sitting around their DC offices in garbage bags. Folks who suspect even more money was spent on the Palins than reported are taking the delay as proof the RNC has something to hide.
“First they make a colossal mistake of judgment by even agreeing to squander the party’s resources on these clothes,” a donor told The New Majority. “And then compound the error by failing to properly dispose of them. If they think donors are going to sit by and simply accept this they are mistaken.” Hey, Robert Barnett does TV deals too—maybe Palin should forget these party-pooping penny-pinchers and go back to newscasting.
Less than a year ago, Alaska Governor Sarah Palinsuggested that Hillary Clinton “does a disservice to even mention” the unfair treatment she received as a woman in politics. “You have to plow through that! You have to know what you’re getting into. If I hear [something]…with any kind of perceived whine about that excess criticism or maybe a sharper microscope put on her, I think ‘Man, that doesn’t do us any good.’ …I don’t think it bodes well for her.” In a less than surprising bit of irony, her vice-presidential campaign has turned her around on “whining about microscopes,” as a new interview with conservative filmmaker John Ziegler reveals. Warning: may inspire unhealthy amounts of schadenfreude.
On the rumors that lil’ Trig is actually her daughter Bristol’s child:
What is the double standard here—why people would choose to believe lies, reporters not taking just one extra step to get to the facts and report the facts [ed. note: Palin refused to release her medical records], and instead continue to report things that are not true….is it political? Is it sexism?
On Palin not getting the same treatmeant as President-Elect Barack Obama in regards to family privacy:
I naively believed that they respected him, in his demand for privacy, for that to be adhered to. Naively believing “oh, that must apply to all of us, right?” But it didn’t apply.
After seeing Katie Couric ask David Letterman why no one asks why Palin wouldn’t say what she reads:
Because, Katie, you’re not the center of everybody’s universe. Maybe that’s why they didn’t think to ask that question.
This year’s freshest award goes to veteran pop star Britney Spears, who made a public comeback by appearing at MTV’s VMAs and then topping charts with her new album (Circus). Gossip Girl hottie Blake Lively took second place.
Apparently Sarah Palin’s dad is a big blabbermouth, as he revealed to some site called Grandparents.com that his granddaughter, Bristol, is having a baby boy. Cuteness! We kinda miss the Palins for all their family drama - we hope the Governor threw some baby clothes for her grandson into that pile of crap she bought for thousands at Saks this summer!
Bristol is due on December 20th, which is just two days away! We can’t wait for the Alaska’s Baby of the Year to be born. Will Bristol follow in her parents’ footsteps and name it something weird, or will she define herself as a more traditional Palin? We’d guess her tot’s name will put Bronx Mowgli Wentz to shame. Fingers crossed, of course. [NYP. Getty Images]
Sarah Palin, just take that “White Oprah gig” already—in national politics, you’re already losing your biggest fan. John McCain, while still grateful for her executive experience, campaign re-invigoration, and all the other neato stuff the most unpopular vice-presidential candidate ever brought to his ticket last fall, he couldn’t promise he’d vote for her in 2012 on Sunday’s episode of This Week.
I can’t say something like that. We’ve got some great other young governors. I think you’re going to see the governors assume a greater leadership role in our Republican Party.
Well, yes, because Republicans are greatly outnumbered by Democrats in the House and Senate. But there you have it. McCain, the man who refused to hear a negative word about Palin during the election, would rather nod at potential nominees Tim Pawlenty and Bobby Jindal than suggest he’s in her pocket for the 2012 Republican primary. Where’s the team spirit, guys?
Worried about an awkward thanksgiving? Three days full of dry turkey leftovers and family bickering? Just be glad you’re not giving a TV interview while birds are slaughtered behind you, like Sarah Palin did.
The Alaskan governor must have been embarrassed enough at the actual photo-op, where she “pardoned” a Wasilla turkey and read a speech about how Ben Franklin loved turkeys or something. But when she stepped out of the coop to give an interview, no one bothered to halt the execution of the other prisoners. Watch in the above clip as a reporter asks about “programs on the chopping block”—as a farmer shoves a turkey into a throat-slitting cylinder (at 1:16). Palin goes on to explain why she’s there (at 2:05):
You need a little levity in the job, especially with so much that has gone on that has been so…political, obviously, it’s nice to go out and do something to promote a local business. To just participate in something that isn’t so heavy-handed politics that invites criticism! Certainly we’ll probably invite criticism by doing this too, but at least this was fun.
Check out Palin pardoning the lucky bird after the jump. Warning: listening to her talk for several minutes while surrounded by turkeys may make you envious of those that were already dead.
You might think that presidential politics and a crashing economy would have kept folks from laughing in 2008, but thanks to these four comedians - intentionally or not - there were plenty of chuckles to go around. Amy Poehler kept reaming the headlines on SNL’s Weekend Update all the way through her very noticeable pregnancy, while Steve Colbert showed TV pundits just who had the lock on “truthiness.” Tina Fey got a perfect chance to bring new audiences to the underwatched sitcom 30 Rock when a certain politician with a physical resemblance leapt into the limelight: Sarah Palin. And while Palin might not be trying to crack us up, how could would we celebrate these three jokesters without acknowledging the failed VP nominee that provided them with so much great material?
While Democrats hungry for schadenfreude are going to love the latest examples of Sarah Palin’s post-election humiliation, we have to admit: no Vice-Presidential nominee has ever had to deal with this level of crap.
For instance, if John McCain had won, it’s hard to imagine that porn director Cezar Capone would be offering Joe Biden $2 million dollars to appear in a porn film. In an open letter on palinsupermilf.com, the self-proclaimed “KING of all ‘MILF’ films” invites the Alaskan governor to help him create “a glossy, adult production starring a beautiful mother recognized by all of America as well as the rest of the world -the most desirable woman over 40!” Being a gentleman, Capone will even throw in another $100,000 if Todd will cum along (yeah, we went there). “Please do not take this offer in jest, as it is completely legitimate,” says Capone. “We at Cezar Capone are prepared to put the money in escrow immediately.” For some reason, we think she’ll stick with preparing for a 2012 presidential run.
Up in Alaska, and surrounded by handlers, Palin can probably ignore this kind of mockery. But what she can’t ignore are the RNC representatives waiting for her to return all the clothes they bought her family. There might be a problem, though—according to her father, some items might be lost. Like the kids’ underwear.
