Bet Paul Shaffer won’t write a theme song for this clip. The National Enquirer reports that a surveillance camera once caught David Letterman having sex with a young employee, and the footage isn’t going to make anyone’s life better. “Dave apparently didn’t know the location of the security cameras at his Late Show studio…It’s one thing for him to have publicly admitted to having had sexual relations with some women on his staff. It’s another to see him in the throes of passion with one of those women.” Who wants to see Letterman in the throes of passion, period?
OK, quite a few women do, apparently. But among those who won’t appreciate his erotic contortions are employers CBS and wife Regina Lasko, who might not stand by their man if the tape leaks. “If the tape makes its way into the criminal case, it’ll explode his marriage to smithereens.” And our brains, if this alleged artifact makes the internet.
Quinnipiac University is putting the “loco” in in loco parentis. Following news of David Letterman’s affairs with Late Show staffmembers, the school has announced they are reconsidering letting their nubile young students anywhere near the talk show host. “Due to recent circumstances we will have a discussion with those in charge of placing our interns at the David Letterman show in the future. We will diligently oversee this internship program to ensure that our interns are out of harm’s way.”
Wait a second…”out of harm’s way?” Is he putting drugs in his desk mints now? Letterman’s actions were undeniably skeevy in that Mad Men boss-employee way, but—to the best of our knowledge—he didn’t break Megan’s Law. Is this a nutty coda to the late night drama or a sign of craziness to come? Between blackmailer Robert J. Haldeman still professing his innocence and rumors of Letterman taking assistant/lover Stephanie Birkitt on family vacations, it’s starting to sound like the latter.
After a long weekend of media hubbub following David Letterman’s revelation of an extortion attempt against him due to affairs with female staff members, David Letterman returned to the Late Show Monday night with a handful of apologies and moments of righteous indignation. Along with acknowledging his crimes against wife Regina Lasko (”my wife has been horribly hurt by my behavior…and if you hurt a person and it’s your responsibility, you try to fix it…let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me”), he expressed his regret to his current staff for any media innuendo and humiliation following his confession last Thursday (”My thanks to the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I’ve gotten myself involved in”).
But Letterman has made clear that, despite his penitence, he’s glad to have brought up the extortion attempt on air. “You can’t be victimized by criminals, so you have to go ahead and push back…through all of the heartache, and the attention and embarrassment, I still feel like I did the right thing.” And since Letterman isn’t officially a CBS employee, he probably doesn’t have to worry about them investigating his “Supervisor/Subordinate Relationships” now—of which there may have been more than a few. Will he have more to confess tonight?
We stayed up past our bedtime last night (we go to bed at 7pm, so it was rough) to watch David Letterman disclose details about the extortion plot against him, masterminded by a former CBS producer,Robert J. Halderman. Apparently the guy demanded $2 million from Dave, after threatening to write a screenplay and a book about how he nailed numerous female staffers. Awkward! Dave and his attorney took it to the cops, the guy was busted with a fake check and the whole thing made for one of the most compelling moments on television since Jessie Spano had a Pointer Sisters-fueled meltdown on “Saved By The Bell.”
Now that the criminal’s been busted, we imagine it’ll be Dave’s turn to do some explaining - to his wife Regina Lasko, with whom he has a five-year-old son. We have a feeling she’s not gonna find the whole quite as funny as Dave’s audience did last night.
According to DListed, the woman Dave allegedly slept with is his former assistant, Stephanie Birkitt, who apparently lived with Halderman at one point. If you’re a longtime Letterman fan, you’ll recognize her as the woman Dave used to call on the phone from his desk. She also covered the 2002 and 2006 Olympics for the show, and once called the comedian “the greatest boss I could ever have.” Cue dry heaves!
Here’s Stephanie appearing on the show in 2002 (more can be found over at the Huffington Post). Watch as Dave calls off the planned bit and instead flirts with her for 8 minutes. Enjoy!
Madonna looked happy and buff on the Late Show With David Letterman last night, joking about A-Rod (”[you associate me with] only one [sports star]?”) and her notoriously profane appearance on the show fifteen years ago (”it may have had something to do with the joint I smoked”). With her British accent gone the way of her marriage with Guy Ritchie, Madonna made clear she won’t be taking another person’s hand (or inflection) any time soon. Asked if she’d marry again, she calmly noted “I think I’d rather get run over by a train.” Don’t worry, Jesus Luz! “Companions” can still sue for palimony.
The highlight of the show was when Letterman revealed that, despite living (at least part-time) in the city since 1977, Madonna has never had a slice of NY pizza. “I’m not a cheese person,” said the singer. Rather than bring up “This Used To Be My Playground,” he took her to a visibly cleared-out restaurant next door for a slice with no cheese but plenty of olives. Could Dave resist pretending to burn the roof his mouth? Check out highlights after the jump.
It’s Republican women vs. goofy guys in glasses! First Alaskan governor Sarah Palingot upset when David Letterman made a joke about her daughter getting knocked up by Alex Rodriguez. The Late Show host swears he was joking about 18-year-old daughter Bristol, that didn’t stop her spokesperson from saying “it would be wise to keep [14-year-old] Willow away from David Letterman.” Because only a perv could joke about her kids getting pregnant, right? “I would like to see him apologize to young women across the country,” Palin told Matt Lauer on Today.
Then, after Al Roker’s surprisingly combative interview this morning with Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag on the same show, Montag accused Roker of “verbally assaulting” her, adding ” I would warn any people, especially women, who are going on the show to watch out for him.”
So who’s the bigger scare to women? Letterman or Roker? Even if you think both situations are absurd, surely one of these goofballs gives you the willies.
Lauren Conrad looked smoking hot on Late Night With David Letterman last night, so we shouldn’t blame the host for getting a little skeevy. In between dissing her exes Spencer Pratt (”a snake”) and Brody Jenner (”a load”), Letterman let her know how “horrible” it was that Pratt lied about there being a sex tape of her, as he’d really like to have seen it. Umm, yeah.
With all the mean stuff they said about Spencer’s beard, it’s also no surprise that Conrad probably won’t be attending his upcoming wedding to Heidi Montag. Pratt and Montag have been too busy missing each other to comment on their Twitters yet.
David Letterman seems to get more cranky as the years go by and the comedy that results is nothing short of brilliant. If you’ve ever seen him deal with Spencer Pratt, you’d know he has no patience for self-important, unfunny people and the fact that he can cut people like Spencer down to size while making him laugh is amazing to watch. Last night Letterman had Bill O’Reilly on his show and Letterman had a hard time making O’Reilly laugh at anything, but their battle of wits was fascinating to watch because both men don’t back down off of anything.
When O’Reilly has been on the show in the past, Dave has said things like “60% of what you say is crap,” so it was no surprise that as soon as O’Reilly got to talking, Dave told him “I think of you as a goon” (watch here), and later Dave deadpanned “Yeahhh, you’re not that entertaining.” The guys discussed Rush Limbaugh’s success, with Letterman taking jabs at Limbaugh’s drug use and weight before O’Reilly, sick of having the conversation focused on someone besides himself, said, “Do you really think it’s nice to do that to Limbaugh? Why cheap shot the guy?” Our head almost exploded watching O’Reilly chastise someone for taking a cheap shot. We managed to sit through the whole thing (including O’Reilly actually wagging his finger at the audience and half-jokingly yelling at Dave to “let me finish!”) and we came out feeling kind of icky. Please Dave, have Amy Sedaris in a poofy dress on soon to wash the badness away! [Source: The Late Show]
Joaquin Phoenix is continuing his plan to creep out the entire country, and he conquered David Letterman last night. The former actor turned insane person (fine - and hip-hop artist) was all loopy and out of it and weird and thus, straight up awesome. He’s taken his ride on the crazy train and turned it into some sort of genius performance art. They say bad economic times always brings about creative genius - ladies and gentlemen, here is your proof.
Late last month, John McCain “suspended” his presidential campaign by appearing on CBS News when he was scheduled to appear on The Late Show with David Letterman. Ads still ran, surrogates still appeared on tv, his campaign offices were still open—all that was truly affected by McCain’s half-week “suspension” was the Letterman interview. And you know who was pissed? David Letterman!
Yesterday evening, McCain stopped by the show to try and make things better. “I screwed up!” said McCain, in his defense. When Letterman continued to rail, he added “I screwed up! What can I say?” Ironically, McCain—who took a day and a half to get to Washington after his campaign “suspension”—rushed to a helicopter Thursday afternoon when flight delays threatened to keep him from making it to the interview. There are emergencies and then there are emergencies, you see.
