Not Safe For Work

While American Idol’s producers refuse to discuss the possibility of Howard Stern replacing Simon Cowell with reporters, tabs are taking the shock jock’s acknowledgment that he’d consider doing the show as confirmation they’re in talks. “There’s not a better job on the planet than judging a f—–g karaoke contest,” he said on his Sirius radio program Monday, adding that he’d “tase” Ellen DeGeneres if she danced and “smack Randy Jackson’s belly every time he opens his dopey mouth.” Bet they can’t wait, Howie, but what do you think of previous winners? ” I wouldn’t even put through that good looking kid who won, that Kris Allen. He never would have even been through…Carrie Underwood, I would’ve told her to lose weight…Hey Fantasia…little boys are scared that you are going to sit on them. You’re out. Honey, you look like you stepped out of a Haitian earthquake.” Tasteful! While his arrival might make for some must-see TV, we can’t help but wonder if Ellen will be enough of a chuckle factory for everyone involved.

So who will take Simon’s seat if not Fartman? Unless Simon Fuller is truly determined to replace seasoned music veterans with professional comedians, it’s more like to wind up an exec like former Sony Music honcho Tommy Mottola or Madonna manager Guy Oseary, whom a New York Daily News source puts as the front-runner. “His competition just can’t live up to his level of experience, and the people behind the show are slowly starting to realize it…People really only know [Mottola] as Mariah Carey’s big bad ex.” Hey, at least that’s something, though! The only music CEOs with name recognition tend to be rappers, and we haven’t heard Diddy’s name tossed around for a while.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Model Cami Parker may be Dennis Hof’s Moonlite Bunny Ranch’s hottest new property, but the 22-year-old Canadian is already a pro who sat down with TheFABlife to tell us all about how she is already “working A LOT” at the buzzed-about brothel. So how did this petite blonde end up at the Bunny Ranch? Cami tells TheFABlife, “I saw Dennis on Tyra, so I wrote a letter expressing my interest, and immediately they replied and asked me to come out!”

Working for Dennis Hof, who Cami refers affectionately to as “Daddy,” got  off to a great start, and Cami had some pretty interesting first clients. “I didn’t even have my Sheriffs card yet.[All Bunny Ranch girls are required to have a Sheriffs Card, which is essentially their work permit, while employed at the Ranch.] These two guys came in and they were like, ‘Wow,’ when they saw me, which was so funny because I always get picked when I’m just wearing my sweats. They started asking Daddy to break the rule, but he told them no and that I would have my Sherriff’s card the next day.”

But don’t worry, this story has a happy ending! Cami tells TheFABlife that “…the next day, they actually came back! They paid $1500, but it was odd because one friend was totally eating my pu$$y after his friend just f**ked it, which I found strange, but hey, it’s a cool story to tell.”

While working at the Bunny Ranch, which she refers to as “Disneyland for grownups,” Cami is concurrently writing a novel and one day dreams to be “a wife and mom.” But for now, the Bunny Ranch is her family. “The girls are all very nice. I am closer to some than others,” she teases. As for her personal dating preferences? “I like girls too, but I am more picky with girls than with guys. I won’t do anything I don’t want to do!”

Check out Cami on Howard Stern on Thursday and see more of this hottie in our gallery of Cami Parker photos below! [Photo: Marty's Photography]

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As any fan of the Howard Stern Show can tell you, longtime producer Gary Dell’Abate is relentlessly mocked by both his boss and listeners alike. Everything from his teeth, his last name and his intelligence are fair game, as is his love for the New York Mets. So when he took to the mound at Citi Field to toss the first pitch at the Met’s game on Mother’s Day, all eyes were on him with the expectation that he’d somehow screw it up, and screw it up he did!

Gary’s nightmarish throw - which missed the catcher’s mitt but at least a dozen feet - was mocked and discussed on Stern’s show for over an hour this morning, and it’s one of the top searches on Google Trends. Watch his mortifying failure on the clip above.   [via NewsDay]

When celebrities get engaged, it’s all about love - yeah right! When stars decide to get hitched, everyone will be looking at the engagement ring, so it better be a good one! When Hayden Christensen recently popped the question to OC starlet Rachel Bilson, he did a very good job of picking out a classy diamond for his lady love. How did other stars fare when they decided to make their love forever? From Jennifer Hudson to Beth Ostrosky to Carmen Electra, it’s all about the bling. Check out our gallery of the most fabulous celebrity engagement rings! [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Radio’s favorite Fart Man, Howard Stern, wed his longtime girlfriend, super-hot model Beth Ostrosky, on Friday night in NYC at the high-end restaurant Le Cirque. While Howard’s known as a “shock jock” to some, the wedding was intimate and low-key: actor Mark Consuelos officiated, as his wife Kelly Ripa looked on. Also in attendance were fellow Stern show stars Robin Quivers and Artie Lang, as well as Chevy Chase, Donald Trump, Barbara Walters, Joan Rivers, Billy Joel (who performed at the reception) and on-again couple, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman (yay!). Beth wore a dress by the always glamorous Marchesa, and the pair jetted away on their honeymoon the following morning (seen above outside their apartment after the big day). Congrats! [Us. Photo: Splash News Online]

New York Post

THE long-awaited wedding of Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky is finally happening tonight at Le Cirque. The shock jock and his leggy lady have booked the whole restaurant (the first time anyone has ever taken over the entire place) for a sit-down dinner for 180 guests, including Donald Trump. Beth’s wedding gown was designed by Georgina Chapman. And guess who’s going to perform the ceremony? Mark Consuelos, husband of Kelly Ripa, is “certified” to supervise their vows.

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Kid Rock and Tommy Lee have thrown fists at each other, Luke Campbell and his 2 Live Crew pals performed “Banned In the USA,” Madge and Brit did their infamous lip lock thing — there’s always something big happening at MTVs annual VMAs show. We decided to corral some of the great, silly, or dubious moments that stick in our mind. They may not be the most outrageous ever, but they’re all quite memorable. After the jump, take a look back at these moments and tune into MTV Sunday at 9PM EST to watch the 2008 Video Music Awards.

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Though Howard Stern and fiancee Beth Ostrosky still plan to be married by Mark Consuelos in October (Mr. Kelly Ripa is an ordained minister, it seems!), Ostrosky has confirmed to Fox 411 that they’ll be holding a civil ceremony in the Hamptons this weekend. Congratulations, you crazy kids! [Fox 411]

It looks like Artie Lange cares about his health after all. Years after inspiring a Death Watch website with his alcoholism, heroin use and morbid obesity, the Howard Stern sidekick and Beer League star has finally checked into rehab. The program is described as “intensive” but also “outpatient,” which means that Lange will still be able to appear on Stern when the show returns from its break. Despite this relative freedom, Lange has canceled a stand-up tour, as well as his planned appearance at Bob Saget’s Comedy Central Roast last Sunday, in order to focus on his recovery from…well, everything. You can do it, Artie! [E!]

[Photo: Getty Images]