Not Safe For Work

If you don’t think Katie Price knows her reputation has taken a hammering in the last few months, well, you do now. The professional Peter Andre-basher is to return as a contestant to “I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!” The jungle-set reality show was the scene of her first reinvention back in 2004, when the glamor model met her ex-husband Pete on set and began her transformation into a legitimate business uber-brand.

Now everyone’s of the opinion she’s a nasty, venomous so-and-so once more, she’s headed back to Australia to appear on the forthcoming series. She’ll be the first contestant to ever appear twice and the other celebs appearing are said to be annoyed she’s pocketing $585k rather than their more modest $100k. And the people of Britain are mourning the fact there simple is no escape from this fame-obsessed publicity harpy. [Photo: WENN]

That Katie Price, no shame at all! Only that’s Amy Winehouse letting her bra burst out of her tank-top after a night at the The Hawley Arms in London. If The Daily Mail can be believed, Wino’s make-over isn’t even finished: “She thinks by having another operation and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look.” Guess if you’re going to spend more time in the tabloids than performing music, you might as well look the part. It’s not like Dad’s going to have a problem with it.

[Photo: WENN]

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Just when we thought she couldn’t shock us anymore - for once, Katie Price has done so, but actually made us laugh while doing it. In between the sour slanging match between her and ex-husband Peter Andre that seems INTERMINABLE, Katie has of course acquired herself a new boyfriend, cage fighter Alex Reid. The initial controversy about him starring in a rape fantasy video dissipated once it was usurped by the news he was a cross-dresser with an alter-ego called Roxanne.

But far from ignoring her new man’s peccadilloes, Katie indulged them in classic attention-seeking style, at the launch of her new book. Accompanied by four male friends in drag representing different Jordan “looks,” Katie launched her style guide (no, really) yesterday at Selfridges in London with a dose of humor. But which one above, is Katie, and which is Alex? Heh heh.

(FYI, he’s the one on the far left. Of course.) [Photo: WENN]

We’ve been trying very hard in the Fab Life’s UK HQ to avoid the white noise of Katie Price - AKA Jordan’s - attempts to get sympathetic press in the wake of her split with Peter Andre. After behaving like a complete party girl - living it up in Ibiza, badmouthing her ex and then hooking up with a cage fighter who took part in a rape fantasy movie (oh yes) - it has clearly surprised Katie that around 99.9% of the population are firmly on Team Andre. He, meanwhile, is anointing his newly-sainted reputation by pledging to remain celibate until the divorce comes through, never dissing Katie to the press and still being a dad to his three children (the eldest of which, Harvey, isn’t his biological child).

So, what’s an attention-crazed lady to do? Revealing she’d suffered a miscarriage didn’t work, so instead Katie has claimed she was raped when she was younger, and that Pete knew about it. He’s denied knowledge so now - metered out in weekly, no doubt fee-paying installments to the UK celebrity press - Katie has revealed her aggressor was a celebrity to ramp up the headlines just that bit more.

Don’t get us wrong - we’re so cold-hearted we think she’s lying. We’re just so sick of her using any depths at all in order to remain in the headlines, beyond any measure of dignity. It’s getting dark. [Photo: Getty Images]

Much as we might like to, it’s impossible to ignore the daily onslaught of stories about Katie Price’s and Peter Andre’s split in the UK. If there’s not pap shots of them going about their separate lives in the papers, there’s their magazine interviews and “exclusive” columns, or there’s Twitter. Soon they are sure to implant chips in our heads to make sure we don’t miss anything direct from their brain-grapes (© Tracy Jordan).

But sometimes the “blah blah blah” from their breakup is actually really disturbing. In order to stick a finger up at Pete, Katie is now hooked up in Malaga, Spain, with her new boyfriend, cage-fighter Alex Reid.  And what should you do in order to get the most headlines? Why, “cavort” topless with him in the pool and then get him to give your bare booty a squeeze and dodgy fondle for the snappers when you’re lying naked for an outdoors massage. Yes, of course. Aw, the Andre children are going to love Mommy’s 2009 family album. [Photo: Splash News Online]

If anyone ever wants to learn how NOT to break up with your partner, they just need to look at Peter Andre and Katie Price for about five minutes. In the latest depressing installment of their public slanging match, Pete is now going to take legal action against his estranged wife for suggesting he was unfaithful during their marriage.

“Well, you know when you split up with someone you hear things, so who knows what’s true, what’s not? But as far as I know I think he was faithful,” Katie said on breakfast show GM:TV. Furious Pete’s rep then fired back that he was “taking legal action.”

Still, doesn’t Katie look terrific at the Selfridges launch of her book? Ahem. [Photo: WENN]

Traumatic divorce or no traumatic divorce, Katie Price has a business empire to run, and so in order to plug her latest ghostwritten novel Sapphire (no laughing at the back, please), she’s on the publicity trail again. Hang on, when is she not on the publicity trail? Anyhow, she told Metro her future love life could feature a bit of 2009’s trendy fad for fake bisexuality.

“No one could ever bet or imagine who I’ll be going out with next. I don’t even know myself. Who knows? It could be a woman,” she said.

That’s one thing you haven’t tried yet, Katie, and it’s sure to fascinate the tabloids! Another thing she hasn’t tried yet is acting, but that’s not going to stop her. “I’m also going back to L.A. to do an audition for Sex And The City 2,” she added. Dear god, no. [Photo: Splash News Online]

Clearly you know the answer when we pose the question “does Cameron Diaz or Katie Price look the most stylish when arriving at Heathrow airport?” But hey, we just like to have our fun. The two celebs touched down within hours of each other yesterday in London, and in the blue corner, Katie rocked her usual acres of orange skin teamed with a symphony in turquoise Lycra. Meanwhile, Cammy kept it achievably sexy with a blazer, scarf, skinny jeans and boots in classy neutrals. And — shocker — she wheeled her own suitcase! We think she wins hands down. What do you think? [Photos: Splash News Online]

The British media is predictably becoming a daily battle ground as the split between Katie “Jordan” Price and Peter Andre stays nasty. The latest salvo fired by the former glamor girl is the revelation that she suffered a miscarriage soon after returning from the U.S. — and days before she ran the London Marathon. In an interview with Piers Morgan, Katie — who has been accused of crass, tarty behavior in Ibiza since the split — told tearfully what had happened.

“I was pregnant in America and the baby died … Emotionally for any woman, whether you’re in the media or not, to have a baby die, run the marathon, which is also a big thing on your body, and then your husband wants a divorce, split up. That’s a lot for someone to take in,” she said.

But Pete, who has so far come across as the more dignified partner in the messy breakup, responded to Katie’s disclosure in his weekly New! magazine column. “By revealing all about the baby we lost, Kate went against everything we said we’d never do. The miscarriage was a devastating time for us both, but I strongly believe it should have remained private,” he wrote.

The PR battle is certainly on again between the Jon and Kate of the UK, but the whole thing just seems sad when you think about the effect this must be having on their kids. [Photo: Splash News Online]

OK, we know it’s a cheap gag, and that Katie Price — who seems to be 100% reverting to her former slutty alter-ego of Jordan — isn’t looking after the kids while they’re with dad Peter Andre in Cyprus. But FFS woman, is this really OK for your children to see? Katie’s been ripping up the party scene in Ibiza while her three kids are away, and what with the porn-style posing on the beach, dancing on tables and getting paralytic in clubs and allegedly threatening to “cut” some woman’s face , it’s as if the last few years as a devoted mom and businesswoman haven’t even happened. At the moment, the winner of the PR battle is a shoo-in. [Photos: Splash News Online]

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