Not Safe For Work

If you don’t think Katie Price knows her reputation has taken a hammering in the last few months, well, you do now. The professional Peter Andre-basher is to return as a contestant to “I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!” The jungle-set reality show was the scene of her first reinvention back in 2004, when the glamor model met her ex-husband Pete on set and began her transformation into a legitimate business uber-brand.

Now everyone’s of the opinion she’s a nasty, venomous so-and-so once more, she’s headed back to Australia to appear on the forthcoming series. She’ll be the first contestant to ever appear twice and the other celebs appearing are said to be annoyed she’s pocketing $585k rather than their more modest $100k. And the people of Britain are mourning the fact there simple is no escape from this fame-obsessed publicity harpy. [Photo: WENN]

We’ve been trying very hard in the Fab Life’s UK HQ to avoid the white noise of Katie Price - AKA Jordan’s - attempts to get sympathetic press in the wake of her split with Peter Andre. After behaving like a complete party girl - living it up in Ibiza, badmouthing her ex and then hooking up with a cage fighter who took part in a rape fantasy movie (oh yes) - it has clearly surprised Katie that around 99.9% of the population are firmly on Team Andre. He, meanwhile, is anointing his newly-sainted reputation by pledging to remain celibate until the divorce comes through, never dissing Katie to the press and still being a dad to his three children (the eldest of which, Harvey, isn’t his biological child).

So, what’s an attention-crazed lady to do? Revealing she’d suffered a miscarriage didn’t work, so instead Katie has claimed she was raped when she was younger, and that Pete knew about it. He’s denied knowledge so now - metered out in weekly, no doubt fee-paying installments to the UK celebrity press - Katie has revealed her aggressor was a celebrity to ramp up the headlines just that bit more.

Don’t get us wrong - we’re so cold-hearted we think she’s lying. We’re just so sick of her using any depths at all in order to remain in the headlines, beyond any measure of dignity. It’s getting dark. [Photo: Getty Images]

Much as we might like to, it’s impossible to ignore the daily onslaught of stories about Katie Price’s and Peter Andre’s split in the UK. If there’s not pap shots of them going about their separate lives in the papers, there’s their magazine interviews and “exclusive” columns, or there’s Twitter. Soon they are sure to implant chips in our heads to make sure we don’t miss anything direct from their brain-grapes (© Tracy Jordan).

But sometimes the “blah blah blah” from their breakup is actually really disturbing. In order to stick a finger up at Pete, Katie is now hooked up in Malaga, Spain, with her new boyfriend, cage-fighter Alex Reid.  And what should you do in order to get the most headlines? Why, “cavort” topless with him in the pool and then get him to give your bare booty a squeeze and dodgy fondle for the snappers when you’re lying naked for an outdoors massage. Yes, of course. Aw, the Andre children are going to love Mommy’s 2009 family album. [Photo: Splash News Online]

If anyone ever wants to learn how NOT to break up with your partner, they just need to look at Peter Andre and Katie Price for about five minutes. In the latest depressing installment of their public slanging match, Pete is now going to take legal action against his estranged wife for suggesting he was unfaithful during their marriage.

“Well, you know when you split up with someone you hear things, so who knows what’s true, what’s not? But as far as I know I think he was faithful,” Katie said on breakfast show GM:TV. Furious Pete’s rep then fired back that he was “taking legal action.”

Still, doesn’t Katie look terrific at the Selfridges launch of her book? Ahem. [Photo: WENN]

The British media is predictably becoming a daily battle ground as the split between Katie “Jordan” Price and Peter Andre stays nasty. The latest salvo fired by the former glamor girl is the revelation that she suffered a miscarriage soon after returning from the U.S. — and days before she ran the London Marathon. In an interview with Piers Morgan, Katie — who has been accused of crass, tarty behavior in Ibiza since the split — told tearfully what had happened.

“I was pregnant in America and the baby died … Emotionally for any woman, whether you’re in the media or not, to have a baby die, run the marathon, which is also a big thing on your body, and then your husband wants a divorce, split up. That’s a lot for someone to take in,” she said.

But Pete, who has so far come across as the more dignified partner in the messy breakup, responded to Katie’s disclosure in his weekly New! magazine column. “By revealing all about the baby we lost, Kate went against everything we said we’d never do. The miscarriage was a devastating time for us both, but I strongly believe it should have remained private,” he wrote.

The PR battle is certainly on again between the Jon and Kate of the UK, but the whole thing just seems sad when you think about the effect this must be having on their kids. [Photo: Splash News Online]

OK, we know it’s a cheap gag, and that Katie Price — who seems to be 100% reverting to her former slutty alter-ego of Jordan — isn’t looking after the kids while they’re with dad Peter Andre in Cyprus. But FFS woman, is this really OK for your children to see? Katie’s been ripping up the party scene in Ibiza while her three kids are away, and what with the porn-style posing on the beach, dancing on tables and getting paralytic in clubs and allegedly threatening to “cut” some woman’s face , it’s as if the last few years as a devoted mom and businesswoman haven’t even happened. At the moment, the winner of the PR battle is a shoo-in. [Photos: Splash News Online]

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When a breakup knocks a celebrity down, they do not stand right back up. First, they go to some faraway tropical paradise to lick their wounds. Take Amy Winehouse or Lindsay Lohan, for example. Amy fled to St. Lucia after her Blake Incarcerated allegedly bumped nasties with a German model and Lindsay hit Hawaii after getting dumped by Samantha Ronson. (Okay, some celebs may never stand back up).

Now it’s Katie Price’s turn. Pictures have surfaced of the model/entrepreneur showing off her voluptuousness on the party island of Ibiza a month after hubby Peter Andre filed for divorce. Currently engaged in a PR battle (she’s been dubbed “callous” and “cold” by the British press), she might want to steer clear of booze and men — at least for another month or so. Getting called a “tramp” is the last thing she needs.

Insane factoid of the day: Both Katie and Peter will have their own reality TV shows chronicling their divorce. What?! [Photo: Splash News Online]

Last week, we reported that Katie Price was planning on using the catwalk as a way to get her mind off of her split with husband Peter Andre — and now pictures of her have surfaced from London’s Clothes Show Live. It would seem that runway modeling would be a perfect fit for the mother of three, who is no stranger to stripping down and posing for her line of equestrian clothes and hair care range.

But Metro UK is reporting that when “a troop of male models hoisted the star up at the end of the runway, she accidently revealed her stretched skin and tanned flab across her belly.” Worse, the paper says that Katie’s stint on the runway was a ploy to show her husband what he will be missing — and it “backfired spectacularly.” Does Katie really look that bad?

Katie Price is finally getting some good advice. The glamor-girl turned businesswoman has seen her public profile plummet in the wake of the split from husband Peter Andre, after being judged callous and cold in her approach. And she was due to spill all about the breakup to British chat show host Jonathan Ross on Friday night, but has pulled out at the last minute. Although the official line is that she “doesn’t feel ready,” we couldn’t help but notice the news comes as soon as she’s signed up with new management company the Outside Organisation, after sacking her previous reps.

The bulk of public sympathy still lies with Peter, who’s officially instructed divorce proceedings and is hoping to get joint custody of their children. But with a cast-iron celebrity management company behind her again, expect to see a “kinder,” “gentler” Katie emerge soon. And if they can get a hold of her disastrous fashion sense, then so much the better! [Photo: Splash News Online]

Katie Price said she wasn’t going to “sit around crying” following her split from Peter Andre, and um, she wasn’t joking. Firstly announcing she’s going to sue lots of “newspapers and mags” when she returns from the Maldives later today (hmmm, talk about biting the hand that feeds you) it’s also been announced that she is going to make her catwalk debut.

Publicity-shy Katie — well, she did ask the press to “respect her privacy” — is going to walk down the runway at Britain’s annual Clothes Show Live next Friday, in order to promote her horse range KP Equestrian. Business as usual, then! [Photo: Getty Images]